Anger is probably the most dangerous emotion. Don’t you agree with this? When we are angry, we may try to harm the target of our anger, verbally or even physically. Additionally, our anger tends to fuel and ignite anger from the other person as well. This sometimes causes irreversible damage to relationships. Thus, it is crucial to control our anger and constrain the impulses for hurtful words and actions. However, it is not easy for some of us who experience anger far more intensely as compared to other people. Whether it is due to genetic makeup, environmental influences or premenstrual hormonal changes. But many developmental psychologists believe that we can really choose not to act on our anger and control is possible for everyone. In fact, you can control your PMS anger as well. You may not believe it, but it is possible with conscious efforts and over time.
Know when you are angry
When our anger becomes intense, we may not realize it initially or even want to know it. However, when we become aware of and attentive to our true feelings, we tend to have an opportunity to suppress or regulate our impulses for hurtful words and actions, and take more constructive steps towards removing the source of anger. The good news is that anger leaves its signs all over your body and mind so that you know that it is there. Just think of a time when you felt really angry, and recall the sensations you experienced. With enough practice and time, you’ll become more in tuned with your true feelings, and recognize your anger the moment it arrives.
Understand your trigger
The most frequent reason of anger is someone interfering with what we are intend on doing. During PMS, frustration, a threat of harm, frustration, being rejected, or an irritable mood are all common triggers for anger. Understanding and determining the hottest and most potent triggers for our anger is important for us. With this knowledge, you learn to recognize your triggers, re-evaluate the situations and diffuse your angry feelings before they get out of control.
Remove the source of anger
So now you know that you are angry, why you are angry, and what you are angry at, you can take constructive steps towards removing the causes of your anger. For instance, if you were angry that your spouse didn’t take the trash out in the morning, you could talk to him and negotiate a solution that you both would be content with.
Reappraise other people’s intention
If you think that someone’s interference with your intention is not incidental but deliberate, if it appears that the interfering person chose to interfere with you, then your anger may grow stronger. Anger needs a target to attack by its nature. And this target is often the person who we are in conflict with. It would be really helpful to assume that the basic intention of another is not intentional, and shift the target of your anger from the ‘person’ to the ‘things’. With this mindset, you’ll be able to communicate more effectively and constructively with the other person, avoiding retaliations and personal attacks.
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